2009
Fake Twitter Bios Part 3: The Meta Twits
(Go read Part 2: The Comma Persona Non Grata)
The Apologist:
“I probably won’t follow you back, but that doesn’t mean I don’t love you. I post A LOT, and I do drop the occasional F-bomb, so you might want to think twice before hitting the Follow button.”
The Disingenuous Apologist:
“I’ll almost definitely offend you, so if you can’t handle a little dark humor in your feed, you might want to look elsewhere.”
The Belligerant Apologist:
“I say what I mean and I don’t hold back. Haters: don’t waste your breath telling me what you think. I don’t care. Fuck off. Move on.”
The Black Text On a Black Background Theme Combination:
I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE.
The Obnoxious Asshole You Shouldn’t Follow:
“I’m an obnoxious asshole you should not follow.”
The Fake Celebrity:
“The Official Twitter Page of ______.”
The Accurate Self Deprecator:
“I’m probably not as clever as you.”
The Real Celebrity:
“oh fuck wheres the spell check on this thing I peed myself??”
The Relative Identity:
“Spouse of @MicroFamousPerson”
The Theme Tweeters:
“Random Twain quotes from me to you.”
“Yummy recipes in 140 characters or less.”
“Postcards from Argentinian brothels.”
“I dn’t pst vwls!”
